Have you ever prayed that God would change your teen at any cost? Have you begged God to intervene in your child’s life because you were so desperate to rescue them? I have.
Were you surprised in how God answered those requests? We’re you even asking yourself, “What was God thinking?”
I often have to remind myself that I am not God. I cannot read my teen’s mind. I do not know the heart of my teen. I have no knowledge of their future. The only one that can do all of this is the one and true God, our Heavenly Father.
What I do know is that He sometimes allows more pain within the answer. “Why would He do that,” you may ask?
That is the hardest part for us as parents to grasp. Our teen is already hurting and because of our prayers, it’s as though more pain comes. Continue reading
She stepped on the scale again. It was lower than the day before. Down to 110 pounds, she slowly got off the scale and went to look for food to eat. She knew that it was not good to go without food. With the refrigerator wide open, she stood there pondering what she should eat. After pondering the idea, she closed the door. She just couldn’t do it. She wanted to but didn’t have the desire.
Back to bed she went. Shutting out the world around her was all she could handle. All she could do was cry. She had hoped it was all a bad nightmare in which she could wake up and everything would be okay. Hours later from her sleep, the same crisis remained. Nothing had changed. Continue reading
When you have a teen in crisis, you are always in fix mode. It comes with the territory when you are especially a parent with the characteristics of compassion and caring.
I would be the first one in line to raise my hand and say I have this problem. I call it a problem instead of a help because let’s get real, it can cause many problems. That compassion can lead to enabling behavior in a way that will be destructive.
How may you ask? Here’s an example. Your teen has had issues with drinking. But you are afraid them drinking at other places or meet up with friends and go crazy on drinking. So, you allow them to drink at home or you give them a drink that is less addictive in your mind such as a glass of wine.
You haven’t encouraged them to not drink. You haven’t encouraged them to take responsibility in a way that will cut dry their alcohol addiction for good. You have not sought counsel for them. Instead, you have reasoned with yourself that you can keep them from getting worse. That my dear friend is enabling. That is not leading them to a road of recovery but to more destructive behavior.
It doesn’t have to be about drinking. It could be about an eating disorder, a drug addiction, a self-harm issue. Whatever their crisis is, it is your crisis too. Continue reading
Because acronyms help facts stick in our head, I’ve created one here: COPE. Teens – or kids or adults – cut for Control, as an Obsessive Behavior, as Punishment, or as an Emotional release.