The Door


During my own struggles not only as a parent of a teen in trouble, but also as an adult under extreme stress and depression, it was hard to take control of the serious issues facing me when I was not even able to cope with my own personal crisis.

In the midst of my deep depression, God had given me a dream.  Little did I realize that this dream would be the catalyst to my healing.  It was so powerful that when I wrote it down, it was written as part dream and part reality.  I have added it to my blog under the page called, “The Door”.

Although God has brought great healing in my life since then, as well as for my teen, I found from speaking with others that they too were barely holding on to hope.  So, I have recently felt led to share this story publicly so that others would find that they are not alone.  There is an answer.  There is hope.

Below is a small excerpt from “The Door” and my prayer is that you will find a part of you in this story along with an answer that gives healing, peace and joy.


Feeling my own presence next to him, I stared at a mirrored reflection of myself across the vast room. I continued to watch him from the view of the mirror. His glowing, sharp, amber eyes were steadfast, strong and yet unapproachable. One could not help but stare at his eyes but still be careful in not getting caught. How in the world did I get here? Why was he allowing me to be with him when in a split second I could be devoured in his abyss? I did not dare to question it. I only kept silent, waiting for his next move.

The joyfulness and slow rhythmic pounding of this beast’s body hitting the floor was strong. He was taking pleasure in my obedience. What will this cost me? Part of me knows I am playing dangerously, but the pull is strong. So strong, that if I had a choice to leave or stay, I was willing to stay.

The next two years that followed I lived in this seductive world. Each day passing brought me new decisions to face, to live in fantasy or reality. It drove me in ways that took me to new places of my mentality that I had never taken before. I lived on the edge or lived just within the border of safety.

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