As parents of teens who are troubled or in crisis, we often tire and get to a point where we ask, “When does it stop? When will it change? Will my teen ever get better?” Those are the questions that most of us can ask even on a daily basis.
It is heart wrenching to hear your teen lash out in anger and say death is better than life or sit there and hear your teen cry for hours and be inconsolable. What is a parent to do?
I can honestly say, in my own strength I can do nothing. In my own wisdom I will end up failing. In my own control it will end in disaster.
It is only through Christ do I find courage. It is only through Christ that I find guidance. It is only through Christ that He can fix things.
I am not fighting against my teen, but fighting against an enemy that is unseen but is very much there.
For we are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places. Ephesians 6:12 (nlt)
If I allow it, I could lose that war and my teen’s life if I try to do things my own way. I have learned that I cannot do this alone which is what many parents try to do. By fighting that battle alone, all warriors will succumb to weariness and more trouble and no one will have the chance to rise up and win that war. They are stuck in a cycle that only continues the crisis, the hurt, and the pain.
There comes a point where we need to let go and let someone else stand in the gap and give us the help that we need. A pastor, a counselor, a psychiatrist. Our job is to pray, study and use the Word of God as our armor to protect and to build up our family and to continually show love despite how we feel. No one said it would be easy, but we would have that added support in time of need.Utilize the people around you who you know love you and support you and want to help. Open your heart to your pastor or church leader. They have much wisdom to share.
I use to feel ashamed by my family’s brokenness. Not anymore! I get as much help as I need. I don’t feel embarrassed to ask for another perspective on either my parenting or a decision that needs attention. That is called humbleness. Gone are my days of pride. Now I can be proud of how far our family has gone for healing.
When I am tired and weary, I think of God’s word in Matthew 11:28 that says, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” (esv)
And in Isaiah 40:28-31, it says, “Have you not known? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He does not faint or grow weary; his understanding is unsearchable. He gives power to the faint, and to him who has no might he increases strength. Even youths shall faint and be weary, and young men shall fall exhausted; but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.” (esv)
We will still have our ups and downs, still get weary from time to time, but we are more aware of the enemy lurking around the corner to cause havoc in our family. Just remember that as parents we are all in this together, fighting FOR our teens because they are so WORTH it!