Have you ever prayed that God would change your teen at any cost? Have you begged God to intervene in your child’s life because you were so desperate to rescue them? I have.
Were you surprised in how God answered those requests? We’re you even asking yourself, “What was God thinking?”
I often have to remind myself that I am not God. I cannot read my teen’s mind. I do not know the heart of my teen. I have no knowledge of their future. The only one that can do all of this is the one and true God, our Heavenly Father.
What I do know is that He sometimes allows more pain within the answer. “Why would He do that,” you may ask?
That is the hardest part for us as parents to grasp. Our teen is already hurting and because of our prayers, it’s as though more pain comes.
Surprisingly in the midst of that hurt and pain, God is working. That’s right. God’s plans have already been activated.
Before they call I will answer; while they are yet speaking I will hear.
God knows our children intimately. He also knows the choices our teens will make that will alter their life. He knows how we as parents will respond to those choices; choices filled with sadness, hurt, and disappointment.
There is a scripture that a dear friend shared with me recently that truly answers the question as to why God would allow more pain and hurt. He wants to demonstrate how He can turn it all around for the good in our teen and reveal Himself to them in a way we never could.
“Come, let us return to the Lord. He has torn us to pieces BUT he will heal us; he has injured us BUT he will bind up our wounds…he will restore us that we may live in his presence. “
God gives us and our teen free will. He doesn’t try to stop our teen when they make hasty decisions, bad choices and sees them act in an irresponsible way. In fact, He allows it. He may even bring more pain in the process. Because of those decisions and choices, those consequences will eventually be reaped.
The good news is that God is merciful and extends grace to our teen when we they have reached the bottom. He will hold out His healing hand to touch them and restore them but only if they reach back and ask.
When God begins the restoration, it is not always in the way we like. What if part of that restoration for your teen means spending a year in a rehab or a year in juvenile detention/jail? What if it means going through some really deep and painful therapy? What if it means your teen may end up with a sickness that will remain with them for the rest of their earthly life but restores their spiritual soul and mind now?
God’s mercies are new every morning and He is so faithful to see us through the most heart-wrenching times in our life as parents. The only answer to getting through those difficulties is by dedicating yourself to reading His Word, praying His Word (Pray without ceasing. I Thess. 5:17), and standing in faith (Isaiah 7:9) even when you are not sure you can do it. It is the obedience of following through and remaining faithful when you cannot see the results or know the answers right away for your teen.
Just like the woman who dared to touch the hem of Jesus’ garment to retrieve her healing in Luke 8:44, we must also dare to do whatever it takes as a parent. Are we willing to ask God for healing of our teen and putting our total trust in Him no matter the answer?
In order to do so, you must let go of the guilt, the shame, and the fear that often travels with us as parents with teens in crisis. Let God take those things and replace them with freedom, faith and courage. Then put your total trust in Him no matter what answer comes. He IS all that you need.