How many times do you think you should have been fired from your job as a parent? Your teen is out of control, getting in trouble or having a meltdown. You step in to pull it back together but find yourself making things worse. Maybe you added to their problems. Maybe you gave the wrong guidance. Maybe you weren’t there when they needed you the most.
We can beat ourselves up over and over and be left with extreme guilt, shame, and a teen in crisis like ever before. You say to yourself the following words…
“What were you thinking?”
“You’re the worst parent on the planet.”
“No wonder this kid has problems.”
“It’s all my fault that my son is in trouble.”
“I should have done more to help my daughter.”
There’s nothing like heaps of blame thrown on yourself because your teen is in crisis. But hold on! Sure we can make mistakes, sin, and be totally wrong in judgment. However, our teens make choices too. They make the choice to do drugs or consume alcohol. They make the decision to purge their food or consider an attempt at suicide. They know right from wrong. It was imparted within their spirit from the beginning of their life.
Let’s face it. Many times a parent feels like a failure. We hope to get it right but there will be times in which we totally miss the boat in parenting. This does not mean that we are unloving, uncaring, or even unfit to be a parent. It’s just means we are human and not perfect.
So what do we do now? First, we ask God to forgive us in our disobedience when He asked us to do something and we didn’t follow through. Secondly, we forgive ourselves. Let it go. It’s senseless to put ourselves down when it is in the past. Don’t let satan try to discourage you or throw the things you have done back in your face. Thirdly, turn away from your old ways of parenting and ask God to give you new skills and wisdom. Finally, pray and ask God to guide you using His Word as your instruction book so that you can stay on track as a Godly parent. Ask clergy, counselors, and therapists to support you on the right path of parenting and how to help your teen in the best way.
Will we falter again? Yes! As I mentioned, we are not perfect. With God at the helm, He will keep us from steering in the wrong direction again. Today say goodbye to those words, “You’re fired!” Soon you will be hearing, “You’re hired!”
The Lord makes firm the steps
of the one who delights in him;
though he may stumble, he will not fall,
for the Lord upholds him with his hand.
No, dear brothers and sisters, I have not achieved it, but I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past
and looking forward to what lies ahead.