Parenting is a lifetime of judgment. Let’s face it, there is no guidebook on parenting when you have a teen or young adult in crisis and we all make mistakes along the way. I can raise both hands on this and say I made aplenty.
I certainly was not as proactive as I could have been. However, I also did not understand mental illness or disorders either and most parents don’t in the beginning. I have come a long way since then and my failures and experiences are now the top key things I am very open about so that other parents don’t fall into the same trap as I did.
Despite all of this, there is one thing that is true. Judging someone else without knowing the entire story is hurtful and even damaging. Somewhere along the way, mercy and compassion walked out the door by that accuser and never left room for grace the way Christ has for us.
Knowing that the other person is not enlightened to the truth nor walks side by side with you during your darkest hour or your best day, here are a few ways to respond when you are being judged.
- You pick up your hurt feelings and drop them at the feet of the cross and ask God to heal you.
- You pray for the person who was quick to condemn and you forgive them.
- You learn from your mistakes and you educate others so they don’t have the same issues
- You remind yourself that we all have short-comings and are not perfect parents. No one is.
- You educate yourself as much as you can about the issues at hand within your broken home or child.
- Seek help for yourself, not just your child. By doing so, you can handle your teen/young adult’s brokenness and respond with strength, hope, and endurance.
- Seek Christ diligently for wisdom and discernment. All His guidance is through His Word as well as through time spent with Him through prayer. I guarantee you won’t be disappointed.
- Leave the judging to God. He’s in the business of correction which is His specialty. It is also a time to not be judgmental towards others who are also going through the same pain as you. Let’s be transparent and open the door of opportunity to minister to someone else even in the midst of our own trial.
By following these response tips, you will find yourself in a more peaceful place of surrendering judgment to the one who understands the most – Jesus Christ.