NUMB

Have you ever felt numb and dead inside? Maybe it was an incident that left you shocked, bewildered, and speechless.  Quite possibly, a situation arose with your teen or young adult that shattered your dreams for them.  Perhaps your child requires so much of your energy, thinking, and emotions, you are left exhausted with nothing more to give. Maybe they caused you pain and your response was to just shutdown.

I have been there.  Sometimes, I even visit there from time to time. I often wonder to myself why I was left with so many burdens to carry because of my child in crisis.  From a teen to a young adult now, some of those crises enlarged or new ones evolved.  Some of those struggles were self-inflicted while others were not.

I love my children. However, I have found that if I do not take care of myself, my numbness leaves me disabled to address other issues of importance.  That is no place any parent should be.  In my journey as a parent with a hurting and wayward child, I have asked God many questions. Maybe you have asked those same questions too, like…

“Why did you pick me to parent a broken child?”

“When will this be over and my child can be normal again with a happy, healthy life?”

“Why can’t my kid be like my friend’s kids…joyous, looking to their future, making all good decisions?”

Will I ever get my life back?”

“Can you give me an answer as to how to fix my child?”

When will all of these crises stop?”

“Are you punishing me God?”

“When are you going to heal my child?”

God never tires of our questions.  He knows that we are overburdened, weakened in faith, and weary of praying.

In my experiences of numbness, they were never permanent, only a season. Each circumstance I had to face the pain and work my way through it with the Lord by my side. When the season ended, I was able to see how much my faith had grown.

When we take a look at Esther, King David, and Paul to name a few, they all traveled difficult paths. Some were threatened and persecuted. Others were lined up for extinction. Pressures, fear, shock, dealing with crises of their own, I’m sure they were left numb at times by the trials around them. Nevertheless, there was an undeniable mark upon them. They ALL matured in their faith with God. 

Their trust and hope in God started out small just like many of us. As each struggle came, they were stretched and molded over time. Sound familiar? God was the only one in whom they could put their hope in. Praise God! This is not to say that they didn’t suffer more disappointments, failures, weariness, shock, and fear. In fact, I’m sure they did. 

I am so thankful that God gave us these pioneers to encourage us in our journey. We can learn much from them.  

So if you feel numb today, remind yourself of these Godly promises. 

Psalm 55:22 – “Cast your burden on the Lord, and he will sustain you; he will never permit the righteous to be moved.”

Lamentations 3:21-23. “But this I call to mind, and therefore I have hope: The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.”

Isaiah 41:10. “Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”

Photo by Eric Ward on Unsplash

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