There is a silent epidemic happening in our country of young teens, most specifically male youths. I call it silent because you don’t always see it. It is often hidden from others. In fact, it hides behind a facade that everything is okay, when in reality, something is brewing.
Here are some prime examples of this silent epidemic.
17-year-old Dimitrios Pagourtzis killed 10 people in Santa Fe High School – he was supposedly bullied and rejected by a girl that he liked. Noted as being quiet and to himself.
Nikolas Cruz slaughtered at least 17 students at the Marjory Stoneman Douglas HS – a loner, supposedly had impulse issues, was bullied, had major losses in his life with the death of his parents.
A 15-year-old teen with the help of two friends, strangled and stabbed his mother to death in Maine because they moved.
16 year-old beats friend to death with baseball bat over jealousy of a girl he liked.
This silent epidemic is called Anger. It’s an emotion that is in each and every one of us. This includes growth spurting hormonal teenagers. Most teens express their anger through yelling, slamming doors, running off, or finding a place to be alone for hours. Those types of responses are expected. However, for some teens, their anger differs. Their anger lingers and builds quietly, layer upon layer, with no filters or boundaries in place. It lays dormant inside until an event triggers a volcanic eruption of violence that knows no limits. Continue reading
Feeling safe in her locked bathroom, she stood there in front of the mirror with swollen eyes. With a warm washrag, she slowly and meticulously wiped the tear-streaked mascara left on her face.
Barely audible, she forced the words out of her mouth, “I can’t take it anymore God.” With uncontrollable sobs, she dropped to the cold tile floor.
In a curled fetal position for what seemed like hours, she swirled her finger in the wet puddle of tears left on the floor.
Like ringing in the ears, she could hear so clearly her teen son repeating to her, “I hate you. I don’t want you in my life.” Continue reading
I would like to promote a new book by Jayneen Sanders called, “Some Secrets Should Never Be Kept”. The author saw a special need for many children and parents who did not have available a good teaching tool on self-protection as well as learn how to speak up and against sexual abuse.
This book can help educate parents, kids, teachers and caretakers on sexual abuse. Sexual abuse statistics have risen so much in the past few years and not only is the child abused but is also not believed.
Throughout the pages you will be able to see how abuse is cultivated and groomed in the first place. You will also be able to understand on how to look for the signs that something is wrong and what to do. This book is has a colorful and easy reading layout. With lots of pictures in a story time of long ago, it is written beautifully to not scare but to encourage listening and discussion for all involved.
Some Secrets Should Never Be Kept is also available in a teaching format with workbooks, discussion questions and coloring pages. Please either purchase the book for yourself, a friend or even as a donation to your local library. This link will take you directly to Jayneen’s website which gives valuable information as well as purchasing the book and teaching tools.
Some Secrets Should Never Be Kept
In my years as a parent of teens, I have met many wonderful parents along the way who truly love their children. However, I have also met loving parents who based their parenting style on fear of the outside world or what they perceive as bad, having chosen instead to shelter their children.
As loving as that may seem, unfortunately the end results of that over-protection have caused disastrous results. I don’t believe I have ever met one family in my lifetime that overprotected their children and had a healthy family dynamic in the end.
Is it normal that teens rebel? Yes, it is. Should it be expected that they may rebel? Yes, it should be.
But we should really ask, “Does our parenting sometimes exert such a pressure to shelter and push our teens into a direction that would ultimately cause bad behavior?” I can assuredly say, “Yes.”
To give some examples of this type of parenting, let us focus on these scenarios.
Scenario 1 – Dad pushes his son in athletics because anything outside of that will make his son weak and worthless. He makes him watch, play, think and sleep on athletics. Dad pushes all other distractions out of his son’s way. So he shelters him into a total athletic bubble by keeping away friends, fun, other activities and even any growth to his son’s identity that he is trying to figure out.
Scenario 2 – Mom keeps daughter safe and sheltered from the world by keeping teen with mom at all times, even to the point of keeping tabs of where she goes or what she does. The daughter dresses to what mom wants, eats to what mom says is healthy only, picks out daughter’s friends that she feels are deemed to mom’s approval and absolutely no thoughts on boys and make-up. Continue reading
They came from orphanages in a far off land. For one child, the back and forth motion helped stimulate her physical and emotional being as if she was rocking to the beat of a song. She cried after each 3 bottled meals a day at 9 months: One bottle of chicken broth, one bottle of tea, and lastly a bottle of bread floating in water.
There were twenty-five to thirty children per worker in a room who hardly touched them other than to change their soiled cloth diapers. This was the most attention they received for the entire day. After laying in the diaper for hours and hours, they would be stripped and rinsed off in ice cold water and left with what looked like cigarette burns below their waist and onto their bottoms from the dirty clothes.
Her sister at 27 months old, didn’t know any language or even how to crawl or walk. Tears would flow after every meal given to her. Her fears of not knowing if she would get more food frightened her and would cause her to hoard and steal if necessary. Continue reading