When I was growing up, I was not very close to my father. In fact, as I got older in my teen years, my relationship was almost non-existent. We rarely spoke. Although I badly wanted to have a relationship with him, part of the problem was due to the fact that he was an only child. He also experienced the loss of his mother at the age of twelve and the rejection of his own father soon after that loss.
Needless to say, he was not given a good fatherly image nor was he able to truly deal with all the heavy baggage he carried as he aged. Continue reading
It’s Father’s Day across this nation and in other places of the world. However, there are many fathers who are not able to celebrate this special day. They struggle to get through Father’s Day because they are thinking about their teen in crisis.
A father might be in the hospital due to his teen’s suicide attempt. A father might be wishing his daughter would find her way back home after running off. Maybe he’s the dad who had all these goals and aspirations for his teen and in one moment he found his hopes dashed. Now his teen is before a judge after his latest drug bust. Continue reading
It’s Father’s Day. For many dads who have teens or young adults in crisis, this is a day they wish would be quickly over. It is a reminder of the pain, the heartache that they have endured with their child. The disappointments, the stress, the sadness, the devastation, and especially the failure that they feel because their daughters or sons are living a life of destruction.
Yes, Father’s Day is very difficult. Today, I think of the father in Charleston who had to call the police on his son who took the lives of nine people praying in a church. I can only imagine the gut wrenching agony he is feeling this day.
I am neither a man nor a father, but I have often seen the sadness and self-blame my husband has carried when our children made some very bad choices in their life. The failure he felt and the regrets he burdened himself with is something no father wants to carry.
However, our Heavenly Father does understand. Continue reading
For the past 5 years our daughter’s relationship with her father was a strained one. Having been left behind in an orphanage at 27 months of age without being able to speak or walk, the toll on her emotions and attachment towards others, especially her father, was not what we expected.
We really noticed the changes when comments were made of how he wasn’t her “real” father and that she wouldn’t accept him as her “real” father until she met her birth father in another country. Only then would she make the decision as to whether or not to carry on a relationship with her adoptive and only father that she has ever known. Continue reading
He walked into my office and posed a question to me. “What is more important? Do I sacrifice my time with my kids so that I can have love in my life or should I sacrifice having a girlfriend/wife to love and give all my time to my kids?”
I was first of all surprised at his candor in this question since I have only known him for a little over a month. But I could tell he was really struggling with this question. He then pulled out a picture of his 5 year-old little girl (one of 7 children I might add) and played the audio of her desperate plea for daddy to not go away and instead stay with her. She started to cry and said, “I miss you daddy, please don’t go daddy, I love you daddy!” It was heartbreaking.
We got more involved in the question and about his little girl and it was obvious that he loved his little girl, but he was struggling in this decision even more because his girlfriend from another relationship wanted him in her life. That would require him to move farther away from his little girl, therefore seeing less of her. Continue reading