As we all know, Father’s Day is Sunday. Social media is flooded with fathers posting fun-filled happy memories of the past and present with their sons and daughters. However, not all fathers can rejoice and be glad. There are many who are hurting, saddened, worried, and worn down by their child’s choices and dangerous behaviors and lifestyles. How does one get through it?
I could easily pass on a remedy of prayer, Bible reading, support groups, etc… Unfortunately, there are situations in which we try all of those things and yet our child goes deeper into turmoil and fears of death ponder our mind.
There are fathers who have addicted children on heroin and other strong drugs. There are fathers whose children are incarcerated. There are fathers who don’t know where their child is and there are those who have a child battling mental illness with no hope on the horizon.
When I was growing up, I was not very close to my father. In fact, as I got older in my teen years, my relationship was almost non-existent. We rarely spoke. Although I badly wanted to have a relationship with him, part of the problem was due to the fact that he was an only child. He also experienced the loss of his mother at the age of twelve and the rejection of his own father soon after that loss.
Needless to say, he was not given a good fatherly image nor was he able to truly deal with all the heavy baggage he carried as he aged. Continue reading →
It’s Father’s Day across this nation and in other places of the world. However, there are many fathers who are not able to celebrate this special day. They struggle to get through Father’s Day because they are thinking about their teen in crisis.
A father might be in the hospital due to his teen’s suicide attempt. A father might be wishing his daughter would find her way back home after running off. Maybe he’s the dad who had all these goals and aspirations for his teen and in one moment he found his hopes dashed. Now his teen is before a judge after his latest drug bust. Continue reading →
It’s Father’s Day. For many dads who have teens or young adults in crisis, this is a day they wish would be quickly over. It is a reminder of the pain, the heartache that they have endured with their child. The disappointments, the stress, the sadness, the devastation, and especially the failure that they feel because their daughters or sons are living a life of destruction.
Yes, Father’s Day is very difficult. Today, I think of the father in Charleston who had to call the police on his son who took the lives of nine people praying in a church. I can only imagine the gut wrenching agony he is feeling this day.
I am neither a man nor a father, but I have often seen the sadness and self-blame my husband has carried when our children made some very bad choices in their life. The failure he felt and the regrets he burdened himself with is something no father wants to carry.
For the past 5 years our daughter’s relationship with her father was a strained one. Having been left behind in an orphanage at 27 months of age without being able to speak or walk, the toll on her emotions and attachment towards others, especially her father, was not what we expected.
We really noticed the changes when comments were made of how he wasn’t her “real” father and that she wouldn’t accept him as her “real” father until she met her birth father in another country. Only then would she make the decision as to whether or not to carry on a relationship with her adoptive and only father that she has ever known. Continue reading →