Mother’s Day is one of the most joyous OR most painful day of the year. Like tears on a rose, it can reflect overwhelming joy or deep sorrow. Sadly, there are more mothers who do not experience praises from their child, but endure pain from a wayward teen or young adult in crisis.
These crises are not ones in which your child can’t find their shoes or can’t get to their job on time. It is not from a haircut gone wrong or having a disagreement with a friend. No, the crises I am referring to are the ones centered around addictions, eating disorders, suicidal tendencies, mental illness, sexual identities, rebellious behaviors, and more.
The most notable day of the year, Mother’s Day, is difficult to celebrate when you have a teen or young adult who shuns you, says mean things, and doesn’t care..
How can we as mothers, enjoy this day when our hearts are hurting and we are left with tears?
As the world comes to a pause to celebrate Christ’s death and resurrection, I am reminded of how much He cares for each and every one of us, and especially so, for our broken and wayward children.
All around us has become filled with fear, hopelessness, anger, and depression. People of many ages and families struggling to get through the days and nights. Every morning there is another highlight of something that is discouraging or news that creates more despair.
The Heavenly Father knew our world would be troubled. He knew that we needed to be saved from our own sin and death. He knew a Savior was needed to give us life.
What hope would there be if Christ did not give His life as an offering so that we could live? What mercy would we have had if Christ changed His mind and walked away from death? Today we live in a hurting and dying world where everyone is searching for answers. The good news is that our Savior has come, and IS our ANSWER!
Parents, God gave us His Son to not only give us eternal life, but to set our children free from their life of pain, waywardness, hurt, and brokenness. God already knew the plan before it was set forth. Part of His plan was to set captives free through Jesus. Those captives are our sons and daughters who are struggling with addictions, self-injury, mental illness, disorders, a life of crime, sexual identity issues, and more.
Jesus’ blood on the cross was more than just forgiving and cleansing us from our sin. His blood was a healing lifeline for us and our children. Thank you Father, for your compassion on us!
So as you look upon your teen and young adult this day, remember, Jesus already bore his life on the cross for your child and one day, they will encounter freedom in Him like nothing they have ever experienced before. Keep praying parent. Our HOPE has risen! Jesus Christ our Lord!
But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Romans 5:8
For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. John 3:16
Find a Counselor – Kids hate counselors. Doesn’t matter their age whether they are a teen to a young adult, they all feel the same way. Why? First and foremost, the fact that the parents have picked them out is part of the reason. They didn’t have a whole lot of say in the matter or get to be a part of the decision making as to “who” they would be spilling their guts to. So…. it is important that they play an integral part in who their next counselor will be. The best route to go is to pick 2 – 3 counselors, meet with them, then ask your child to whom they had a connection with (which makes counseling all the easier for everyone involved), and then make a choice from there. P.S. – the child HAS to pick one of them. They cannot opt for no one.
A time of thanksgiving and reflection is once again upon us. However, this year it comes with many challenges. Not only are we dealing with a national pandemic, but there is the added unresolved election, unemployment, and the school system in shambles.
If that weren’t the tip of the iceberg, you have a teen or young adult in crisis as well. How in the world can we lift up our heads during this holiday season and find the words to be thankful?
My youngest is still broken. She is still filled with hurt and pain and struggles every day with some serious issues. There are days that I wonder and ask God, “When will you heal her, when will I not have to worry anymore, when can I finally live a normal life?”
Well, here’s the kicker. Life will never be normal. Every day, I am thankful that she made it through another day. I am thankful that despite the many hardships and disappointments in life, I am thankful that my faith is not what it used to be – it is better!
For eight months I was out of work because of the covid. But praise God, even though it was difficult, I was able to spend time with my daughter and dive into her world a little more to try to understand the tremendous burdens she carries and what it will take for her get better.
I became more thankful FOR her problems because she educated me on how she lives every day in her mind. I would take what I learned and applied it to my knowledge bank so that I could guide and encourage her in a new way. I was and still am thankful for how God opened doors and brought individuals into our lives that specifically work in the areas of my daughter’s disabilities and struggles. God is good.
God never changes. Our circumstances change, our lives change, and God remains the same yesterday, today, and forever. So until now and Thanksgiving Day, find at lease one thing to be thankful for in your life and include your child into that time of Thanksgiving. I promise, your spirit will be filled with praise, thankfulness, and peace in the midst of any storm you are faced with. Thank you God for your goodness!
May this New Year of 2020 be the beginning of healing broken hearts in my family. As I ask in prayer for restoration of my troubled child as well as for my own spirit, may we receive above and beyond rest and peace during our journey despite any chaos that comes our way.
As we seek Your guidance and wisdom, may Your Word penetrate our soul as well as our child who is wayward. As our child seeks the things of the world to heal their own heart, may You redirect them back to You and show them Your love, comfort, and freedom through Christ Jesus. In Him only, they will find release from their pain and hurt as well as be delivered from the chains that bind them.
When we search for answers through You, let the doors of opportunity and blessings be bestowed on our family. For You are our true answer for all of our needs. There is nothing outside of your realm or power that cannot meet us where we are at in this moment of time.
Let 2020 be the year in which our lives are changed, renewed, restored, and set free. Let us as parents be encouraged with a renewed hope, faith, strength, and victory as we travel the road of parenting a child in crisis. Amen!