Why I Refused to Celebrate Mother’s Day

Why I Refused To Celebrate Mother's Day - Anchor Of Promise

 

It’s Mother’s Day! Flowers, candy, and a day off from cleaning and cooking. That is what many moms wish for. These are some of the things that a mother enjoys while the day is celebrated.  Some families go all out.  They give lavish retreats away from home, a day at the spa, or give praise through cards, phone calls, and social media to express their love for “Mom”.  

However, being a “mom” of a teen in crisis brings about a very different kind of Mother’s Day.  You see, teens who are hurting and struggling have moms who put themselves last on the list of receiving care.  We also don’t always experience the benefits or rewards of adulation along with hugs and words of love and thankfulness.

Some moms instead, worry about their teen who hadn’t come home the night before.  Some moms are faced with a teen who is drug addicted or self-harming.  Some moms must visit their teen in juvie for Mother’s Day or at the hospital because their teen had a mental breakdown.  Some moms wonder if they can handle being in their child’s life because their teen has left them hopeless, frustrated, angry, and tired from all that they have been through.

Years ago, I made a big deal out of Mother’s Day which got ruined many times because of my teen in crisis.  So I refused to celebrate it.  But as time went on, I became thankful.  Thankful that I survived another year as a mom of a teen in crisis.

As each Mother’s Day passed, my faith in God became stronger as I relied on Him to get me to the following year. This grew and sustained my hope during the difficult times.  It also helped me deal with my expectations in a more positive way.  Instead of waiting to see what was going to ruin my day, I thanked God for all the little victories that were happening in my child’s life.  No matter how small or big.

One of the biggest changes for me as a mom was how much more I put that responsibility as a parent back towards God.  I knew in my heart that I couldn’t control every aspect, problem, issue or circumstance with each crisis, but I did know who could.  That took off a lot of burdens I was carrying as a parent, especially as a mom.

Being a parent, we put so much pressure on ourselves to be the best mom and when our teen fails us or the community in general, it comes back on us.  No longer stuck in this pattern, I give my problems to God in prayer. I know He will work them all out in His own way through His wisdom and not mine.  After all, He created my child from the very beginning.  He knows my teen better than I ever could.

So dear mom, as you get through this Mother’s Day, good or bad, remind yourself that it isn’t forever.  Your teen really does love you and one day they will thank you for not giving up on them.

From one mom to another who understands, may your Mother’s Day be filled with God’s love, hugging you with hope, peace, strength, and the knowledge that the Lord knows your heart this day.  Let Him guide you through the day and the year and allow Him to carry the hurts, disappointments, and the sorrow you may come upon.  As you rely on Him, He will give you joy that passes all understanding and a lightness within you as you daily go before the Lord in prayer.  

HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY!

Grooming: Could Your Hurting Teen Be Another Elizabeth Thomas?

Grooming - Could Your Hurting Teen Be Another Elizabeth Thomas?

Every other day, I have been tracking the news story of Elizabeth Thomas, the young teen who was kidnapped by her teacher Tad Cummins from Tennessee.

Parents across the country are shocked that this could have happened.  The term “grooming” is a word often used when an adult figure manipulates, deceives, and earns the trust of the victim through various forms of coercion.

Sadly, more and more authority figures are “grooming” young teens at their most vulnerable times.  It can happen in schools, churches, and sports teams.  Many have questioned or made statements about Elizabeth Thomas such as, “She chose to be with him,” or “She can run away.” However, they do not understand the psychological control this teacher has over her that started a long time ago under the guise of a teacher mentoring a student in school.

Teens don’t just jump into a relationship with someone older.  There are many factors when combined set the perfect stage for the grooming of the victim.

So what types of teens are targeted for grooming? Continue reading

When You Have Lost Your Joy at Easter

When You Have Lost Your Joy at Easter - Anchor Of Promise

Everyone is in the Easter holiday spirit.  It’s that time and season in which you bring out all of the spring décor and clothing.  As you rip into the closet or boxes in the basement, there you find tucked away in the corner is your child’s Easter basket.  Memories take you back to when you filled it to the brim with all sorts of goodies for your little children every year for the Easter holiday.  It looks disheveled and old now with colored shredded grass poking through the weaved basket.   As you gaze upon it, tears begin to flow.  Those were the happy days.  You didn’t have a child in crisis back then like you do now.  Continue reading

You’re Fired!

You're Fired! - Anchor Of Promise

How many times do you think you should have been fired from your job as a parent?  Your teen is out of control, getting in trouble or having a meltdown.  You step in to pull it back together but find yourself making things worse.  Maybe you added to their problems.  Maybe you gave the wrong guidance.  Maybe you weren’t there when they needed you the most.

We can beat ourselves up over and over and be left with extreme guilt, shame, and a teen in crisis like ever before.  You say to yourself the following words… Continue reading

Have the Waves of Crisis Pulled You Under?

Have the Waves of Crisis Pulled You Under - Anchor Of Promise

Years ago I watched the movie called, “The Impossible”.  It was based on the true story of a family engulfed in the waters of a large tsunami in Thailand.  Confronted with unimaginable obstacles, the parents were desperate to find their children and each other.  They would not give up no matter the cost.  The physical, mental, and emotional waves of agony from their circumstances would cause any parent to be fearful, distressed and in crisis.

Today, there are waves of crisis pulling many parents under through their hurting teen. In the eyes of the parent, their problems look too big and impossible to change for the better. These types of crises vary from family to family: suicidal attempts, mental illness, drug overdose, self-harming, risky behaviors, running away, etc… Continue reading