When we think of “parents with a teen in crisis” we immediately come to the conclusion that mom and dad are involved. However, there are also thousands of single moms and dads who struggle as parents too. One such parent is my friend Lynn. I asked her to share with me some of the difficulties she has endured as a single parent with a teen in crisis. We pray that you will find encouragement through Lynn’s story and that you are not alone in your single parenting journey.
Were you a stay at home mom or working mom when you noticed your daughter’s issues? I am a working mom who works from home and also cared for my mother who had health issues. Both of my daughters now are ages 21 and 23.
Each parent with a child in crisis has a story. Can you give me a little background of how you became aware that your children were dealing with a serious issue? While my oldest has had anger and insecurity issues due to a divorce, it is my youngest that has been most concerning. In her senior year of high school her grades began to drop, she spoke of hating school and had friendships end. I later came to find out that she was sexually assaulted by a football player who trapped her in his car. She told no one. To cope, she began experimenting with drugs. She chose to attend a city college (which was a good move) but in her second year, I began to see her breakdown emotionally little by little. At the end of the year, she broke up with her boyfriend of 2 years, told me she was bi-sexual and began living a wild lifestyle. She went skydiving, had her septum pierced, began losing weight rapidly, out at very late hours of the night, and clearly came home wasted. My daughters and I are very close, are able to have transparent conversation and purpose time together. So, not only was I trying to deal with her behavior, she shut me out of her life; I was a roommate of insignificance. When school started again in the fall, she was having difficulty focusing, and tried working two jobs. In January, she confessed she felt there was something mentally wrong with her as she began pulling out her hair and cutting herself. She agreed to go into counseling which lead to a psychiatric diagnosis of bi-polar. She is on medication and continues seeing her counselor which is helping her work through some core issues. Continue reading
Keep praying Dads! Your teen or young adult will one day come back and thank you too for never giving up on them. This dad knows it. There is HOPE! Keep your faith in God as you continue to lift up your child to Him. And thank you to this Dad for sharing this letter with Anchor Of Promise. Happy Father’s Day!
There is a silent epidemic happening in our country of young teens, most specifically male youths. I call it silent because you don’t always see it. It is often hidden from others. In fact, it hides behind a facade that everything is okay, when in reality, something is brewing.
Here are some prime examples of this silent epidemic.
17-year-old Dimitrios Pagourtzis killed 10 people in Santa Fe High School – he was supposedly bullied and rejected by a girl that he liked. Noted as being quiet and to himself.
Nikolas Cruz slaughtered at least 17 students at the Marjory Stoneman Douglas HS – a loner, supposedly had impulse issues, was bullied, had major losses in his life with the death of his parents.
A 15-year-old teen with the help of two friends, strangled and stabbed his mother to death in Maine because they moved.
16 year-old beats friend to death with baseball bat over jealousy of a girl he liked.
This silent epidemic is called Anger. It’s an emotion that is in each and every one of us. This includes growth spurting hormonal teenagers. Most teens express their anger through yelling, slamming doors, running off, or finding a place to be alone for hours. Those types of responses are expected. However, for some teens, their anger differs. Their anger lingers and builds quietly, layer upon layer, with no filters or boundaries in place. It lays dormant inside until an event triggers a volcanic eruption of violence that knows no limits. Continue reading
We have said goodbye to winter and hello to spring. With that, it has also brought seasons of change in my personal life as well.
During one of those seasons, I broke my toe, hurt a rib, and was congratulated for getting the flu. All at the same time! No fun.
If that weren’t enough, our house went up for sale. Can you imagine a hobbling sick woman trying to clean her house for visitors, coughing with an “ouch” at the end of each move? Continue reading
As I was decorating for the fall, I was reminded of the countless times in the past I was consumed by the many crises of my teen. Those crises preoccupied my life to the point that finding joy in a new season or celebrating a holiday became non-existent.
Having a teen or young adult in crisis dominates your life physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. You find yourself not living your life anymore but that of your child. Everything is about them. Literally!
I had no time to clean my house. I had no availability to see friends. I craved to be alone and couldn’t. I spent all my time going to a counselor and doctor appts., searching the web or reading for answers to serious issues. I was too tired to think about cooking or to eat a regular meal. My wash was piled up and dishes constantly left in the sink.
When I went to work, my mind was consumed even more because I wasn’t home to see what was going on. When I went to church, I wanted to hide from others so that I wasn’t twenty-questioned about our family. As time went on, it got to a period to which I wanted to run away or worse yet, end my life. Obviously I didn’t since I am writing this post. Continue reading