Last year I took the plunge and joined an online chat group that consisted of moms just like me. This wasn’t your normal chat group that most would think about.
In fact, we didn’t come to just chat, share stories, and make promises as if we were back in time like the sisterhood of the traveling pants. No, we came to do something bigger and more profound that would affect the lives of our family, especially our children. Continue reading
Every year, friends, family, and co-workers talk about their New Year’s resolutions. Some of the favorites are losing weight, go on a long awaited trip, spend less money, and even go back to school. When we are a parent with a child in crisis however, our goals fade and we lose ourselves in the chaos that surrounds us.
Most of the time when we set goals, they are too big or take too long and so our hope and desires for them to be fulfilled become diminished. We also lose site of those goals when we only make a list in our heads and never get it on the calendar. That is something I have often done with little success in reaching my goals.
Adding to that difficulty is when your focus is so much on the needs of your child in crisis that we often forget about the care of ourselves. This is another area in which I badly lost my way to reach those goals. This coming year, I chose to make ones that ARE reachable. These goals I pray, will bring my life less stress, give me more rest, and to encourage as well as comfort me when I am confronted with something difficult. So, here they are. Maybe you can add a couple onto your list of goals for 2018. Continue reading
Parents who struggle with a teen in crisis find it extremely overwhelming to get through the holidays. Although Thanksgiving has passed, another holiday is around the corner – Christmas.
While every other parent around you is singing in holiday cheer, you are thinking about how you can just get through the day. While your co-worker or friend talks about how excited they are that their child is coming home for a holiday visit, you are thinking more about how to help your child in crisis. Maybe you are faced with a child who needs to get into a detox program. Maybe you need to figure out how to get your child to eat that holiday dinner when they struggle with an eating disorder.
And let us not forget those parents who have teens who have suicidal tendencies or mental health issues and are not into celebrating any holiday. Continue reading
One of the biggest frustrations parents have is when their teen/young adult child is unwilling to listen to sound wisdom. Even more frustrating is when your child is in crisis and thinks that their wisdom is more sound than yours.
Teens and young adults are wrapped up in their emotions, feelings, and urgency of the circumstances that surround them. This clouds the consequences of their choices and actions. Continue reading
As I was decorating for the fall, I was reminded of the countless times in the past I was consumed by the many crises of my teen. Those crises preoccupied my life to the point that finding joy in a new season or celebrating a holiday became non-existent.
Having a teen or young adult in crisis dominates your life physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. You find yourself not living your life anymore but that of your child. Everything is about them. Literally!
I had no time to clean my house. I had no availability to see friends. I craved to be alone and couldn’t. I spent all my time going to a counselor and doctor appts., searching the web or reading for answers to serious issues. I was too tired to think about cooking or to eat a regular meal. My wash was piled up and dishes constantly left in the sink.
When I went to work, my mind was consumed even more because I wasn’t home to see what was going on. When I went to church, I wanted to hide from others so that I wasn’t twenty-questioned about our family. As time went on, it got to a period to which I wanted to run away or worse yet, end my life. Obviously I didn’t since I am writing this post. Continue reading