The Identity Hunt

The Identity Hunt - Anchor Of Promise

Many teens that are adopted or fostered have a huge sense of loss. This loss is a springboard to many other complex issues such as an identity crisis.

Not knowing where they originated from, as in cases where a child was left abandoned, leaves a teen with emotions and thoughts of being outcast and unwanted.  Whether you are an adoptive or foster parent, you can give all the love in the world and they would still feel empty and lost and rejected.  Those emotions are multiplied when that teen compares themselves to their family and other cultures and comes to the conclusion that they don’t belong with anyone.

Such was the case for my daughter who has dark hair, tan skin, and appearing as a mix of Arab, Asian, European, and Polynesian.  Now add the fact that she has parents who are Irish/Swiss and white.  Talk about standing out in a crowd.

With those very obvious differences, it came with some very strong feelings of being outside of the family instead of within.  So what does a teen do?  They go on an identity hunt looking for a place where they do fit in. Continue reading

Slamming Her Head In Fear

Eating ice cream for the first time.

Eating ice cream for the first time.

Slamming her head into the floor over and over with hysterical crying, the helper in the toddler room frantically looked for me to come get her. It was only minutes beforehand that I had dropped her off to the class before entering the sanctuary for church.

I had not thought of what repercussions there would be just by dropping my daughter off to her Sunday school classroom at church. When I saw her banging her head as I entered the room, it dawned on me that she thought I had abandoned her into another orphanage and would never come back. She didn’t know how to articulate how she was feeling and hitting her head consistently on the hard floor was the only way she could say that she was upset. Continue reading