They came from orphanages in a far off land. For one child, the back and forth motion helped stimulate her physical and emotional being as if she was rocking to the beat of a song. She cried after each 3 bottled meals a day at 9 months: One bottle of chicken broth, one bottle of tea, and lastly a bottle of bread floating in water.
There were twenty-five to thirty children per worker in a room who hardly touched them other than to change their soiled cloth diapers. This was the most attention they received for the entire day. After laying in the diaper for hours and hours, they would be stripped and rinsed off in ice cold water and left with what looked like cigarette burns below their waist and onto their bottoms from the dirty clothes.
Her sister at 27 months old, didn’t know any language or even how to crawl or walk. Tears would flow after every meal given to her. Her fears of not knowing if she would get more food frightened her and would cause her to hoard and steal if necessary. Continue reading
For the past 5 years our daughter’s relationship with her father was a strained one. Having been left behind in an orphanage at 27 months of age without being able to speak or walk, the toll on her emotions and attachment towards others, especially her father, was not what we expected.
We really noticed the changes when comments were made of how he wasn’t her “real” father and that she wouldn’t accept him as her “real” father until she met her birth father in another country. Only then would she make the decision as to whether or not to carry on a relationship with her adoptive and only father that she has ever known. Continue reading
I remember back in school when the teacher asked all the students, “Do you know where you came from?” and would then begin her long study on people origins. This research included your biography and asking questions of your grandparents, parents, and other relatives which culminated into a full report to share with the class.
Now that sounds interesting and fun, especially to a kid who thinks, “Could I be related to a King or Queen or some rock/pop star in my generation?” but it could also lead to a major identity crisis for a teen who doesn’t know their origins.
Such was the case for my one daughter who is adopted. For her, wanting to know her identity became her priority and it nagged at her every moment of the day. She felt like she couldn’t live life normally without knowing where she came from. Not knowing your origins for some leaves a huge void in their life and at times feelings of abandonment and rejection. Continue reading
As a parent of a teen in crisis, you often feel alone and trapped without any help or support. But surprisingly there are many others walking alone feeling the same way. As a parent of a teen in crisis, many of us like to keep it private or a secret. For some reason we feel shame as if we are not a good enough parent or that we are a failure as a parent.
I wanted to write this blog to encourage you. You are NOT alone. You are NOT a failure. There IS support out there no matter what it is that your family is going through. I will be posting more blogs in the future on not just the different kinds of crisis’ that teens are in today, but also focus on the tough challenges it brings to us as parents and how do we rise above those challenges to help heal our teen. Continue reading