As we all know, Father’s Day is Sunday. Social media is flooded with fathers posting fun-filled happy memories of the past and present with their sons and daughters. However, not all fathers can rejoice and be glad. There are many who are hurting, saddened, worried, and worn down by their child’s choices and dangerous behaviors and lifestyles. How does one get through it?
I could easily pass on a remedy of prayer, Bible reading, support groups, etc… Unfortunately, there are situations in which we try all of those things and yet our child goes deeper into turmoil and fears of death ponder our mind.
There are fathers who have addicted children on heroin and other strong drugs. There are fathers whose children are incarcerated. There are fathers who don’t know where their child is and there are those who have a child battling mental illness with no hope on the horizon.
Imagine yourself on the sea, running into a fog so thick, even with your hand in front of you, it is not in view. How can you guide yourself across the ocean and make it to your final destination?
Fear runs into your veins as you navigate the waters. Questions go through your mind. What could be in front of me that I cannot visually see? Do I turn left, right, or keep straight? Do I take in the sails to slow down or redirect and turn around? Do I drop the anchor to stay still and wait for the fog to pass?
Mother’s Day is one of the most joyous OR most painful day of the year. Like tears on a rose, it can reflect overwhelming joy or deep sorrow. Sadly, there are more mothers who do not experience praises from their child, but endure pain from a wayward teen or young adult in crisis.
These crises are not ones in which your child can’t find their shoes or can’t get to their job on time. It is not from a haircut gone wrong or having a disagreement with a friend. No, the crises I am referring to are the ones centered around addictions, eating disorders, suicidal tendencies, mental illness, sexual identities, rebellious behaviors, and more.
The most notable day of the year, Mother’s Day, is difficult to celebrate when you have a teen or young adult who shuns you, says mean things, and doesn’t care..
How can we as mothers, enjoy this day when our hearts are hurting and we are left with tears?
Parenting is a lifetime of judgment. Let’s face it, there is no guidebook on parenting when you have a teen or young adult in crisis and we all make mistakes along the way. I can raise both hands on this and say I made aplenty.
I certainly was not as proactive as I could have been. However, I also did not understand mental illness or disorders either and most parents don’t in the beginning. I have come a long way since then and my failures and experiences are now the top key things I am very open about so that other parents don’t fall into the same trap as I did.