New Year’s Resolutions for the Hurting Parent

New Years Resolutions for the Hurting Parent - Anchor Of Promise

 

Every year, friends, family, and co-workers talk about their New Year’s resolutions. Some of the favorites are losing weight, go on a long awaited trip, spend less money, and even go back to school.  When we are a parent with a child in crisis however, our goals fade and we lose ourselves in the chaos that surrounds us.  

Most of the time when we set goals, they are too big or take too long and so our hope and desires for them to be fulfilled become diminished.  We also lose site of those goals when we only make a list in our heads and never get it on the calendar. That is something I have often done with little success in reaching my goals.  

Adding to that difficulty is when your focus is so much on the needs of your child in crisis that we often forget about the care of ourselves. This is another area in which I badly lost my way to reach those goals.  This coming year, I chose to make ones that ARE reachable.  These goals I pray, will bring my life less stress, give me more rest, and to encourage as well as comfort me when I am confronted with something difficult.  So, here they are.  Maybe you can add a couple onto your list of goals for 2018. Continue reading

Holiday Merry or Holiday Misery?

Holiday Merry or Holiday Misery - Anchor Of Promise

Parents who struggle with a teen in crisis find it extremely overwhelming to get through the holidays.  Although Thanksgiving has passed, another holiday is around the corner – Christmas.

While every other parent around you is singing in holiday cheer, you are thinking about how you can just get through the day.  While your co-worker or friend talks about how excited they are that their child is coming home for a holiday visit, you are thinking more about how to help your child in crisis.  Maybe you are faced with a child who needs to get into a detox program.  Maybe you need to figure out how to get your child to eat that holiday dinner when they struggle with an eating disorder.

And let us not forget those parents who have teens who have suicidal tendencies or mental health issues and are not into celebrating any holiday. Continue reading

When They Just Won’t Listen

When They Just Won't Listen - Anchor Of Promise

One of the biggest frustrations parents have is when their teen/young adult child is unwilling to listen to sound wisdom.  Even more frustrating is when your child is in crisis and thinks that their wisdom is more sound than yours. 

Teens and young adults are wrapped up in their emotions, feelings, and urgency of the circumstances that surround them.  This clouds the consequences of their choices and actions.   Continue reading

I Want My Life Back!

I Want My Life Back - Anchor of Promise

 

As I was decorating for the fall, I was reminded of the countless times in the past I was consumed by the many crises of my teen. Those crises preoccupied my life to the point that finding joy in a new season or celebrating a holiday became non-existent.  

Having a teen or young adult in crisis dominates your life physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.  You find yourself not living your life anymore but that of your child.  Everything is about them.  Literally!  

I had no time to clean my house.  I had no availability to see friends.  I craved to be alone and couldn’t.  I spent all my time going to a counselor and doctor appts., searching the web or reading for answers to serious issues. I was too tired to think about cooking or to eat a regular meal.  My wash was piled up and dishes constantly left in the sink.  

When I went to work, my mind was consumed even more because I wasn’t home to see what was going on.  When I went to church, I wanted to hide from others so that I wasn’t twenty-questioned about our family. As time went on, it got to a period to which I wanted to run away or worse yet, end my life.  Obviously I didn’t since I am writing this post. Continue reading

The Power of God that Leads to Repentance

The Power of God that Leads to Repentance - Anchor Of Promise 

 

As parents of prodigals (teens and young adults), we often wonder when things get bad, if God is truly powerful to save our children.  We look at their issues and think to ourselves that they are just extraordinarily too big for us to handle or control.  We also begin to doubt in our belief that there is hope for our children.  

As I had been reading the news and viewing pictures of the hurricanes, one picture got my attention.  Once surrounded by ocean water, the docks in Florida were now instead, surrounded by dry sand.  

Looking back to the earlier days of science in the elementary, middle, and high school, weather predictions and phenomenons were only talked about and rarely seen. In fact, very few, including meteorologists, would have predicted or seen these special effects caused by these weather storms.  

Such as the case with Hurricane Irma that was so strong it swept away the ocean from the shoreline.  People were left scratching their heads in shock.  The only question on their mind was, “Where did the water go?”  

As I was reading Exodus 14:21, I came across a verse that gave the answer –  

Then Moses stretched out his hand over the sea; and the LORD swept the sea back by a strong east wind all night and turned the sea into dry land, so the waters were divided.

Then in verse 27,

So Moses stretched out his hand over the sea, and the sea returned to its normal state at daybreak, while the Egyptians were fleeing right into it; then the LORD overthrew the Egyptians in the midst of the sea.

Reading these verses reminded me that God is in control.  He also can allow calamity in order to bring about repentance and peace,  even through a storm. Remember, God has the power to breathe life into us as well as remove it.  Yet, His grace and mercy continues to pursue us in a manner that says how much He desires to love us and have a relationship with us.  He has those same thoughts and love toward our children too. 

The rescue of the Israelites from their enemies is a prime example.  God also has the same power to rescue our children from their destructive behaviors and lifestyles that seek to destroy them.  

Furthermore, the hurricanes of today can also awaken our children to question who will they look to for help and hope in their time of trouble.  This leads to repentance and change.  This is something that we cannot do for them. Only God can show them the answers by allowing circumstances to present themselves to our child.  All we need to do is pray for our teen and young adult.  God can do the rest.  

So the next time you visit the beach and walk along the beautiful sands of the shoreline, remind yourself that our Almighty God is in control and will guide your child back home.  

 

Side Note:  Please continue to pray for the states and islands who have been hit with the many hurricanes in the past month.  If you are looking to donate, please check out  Convoy of Hope – a Humanitarian Organization that helps those in need – most specifically those affected by the recent storms.   

 

Photo Courtesy of Jeremy Bishop (Unsplash.com) 

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