The Identity Hunt

The Identity Hunt - Anchor Of Promise

Many teens that are adopted or fostered have a huge sense of loss. This loss is a springboard to many other complex issues such as an identity crisis.

Not knowing where they originated from, as in cases where a child was left abandoned, leaves a teen with emotions and thoughts of being outcast and unwanted.  Whether you are an adoptive or foster parent, you can give all the love in the world and they would still feel empty and lost and rejected.  Those emotions are multiplied when that teen compares themselves to their family and other cultures and comes to the conclusion that they don’t belong with anyone.

Such was the case for my daughter who has dark hair, tan skin, and appearing as a mix of Arab, Asian, European, and Polynesian.  Now add the fact that she has parents who are Irish/Swiss and white.  Talk about standing out in a crowd.

With those very obvious differences, it came with some very strong feelings of being outside of the family instead of within.  So what does a teen do?  They go on an identity hunt looking for a place where they do fit in. Continue reading

Bleaching Her Skin to Fit In

Bleaching Her Skin to Fit In - Anchor Of Promise

 

The airbrush machine was running and the pigments filled in the cup. Slowly and methodically, the gun of the airbrush went up and down her arm showing the new skin color she so desperately wanted.

When she finished with disappointment again over her latest experiment, she went back to the cyber world and researched her next idea rolling around in her mind – How to bleach your skin.

Many nights I would hear her cry in her room. In her desperation and keeping secret from me, she would cut her arms to see if there was another color under her skin. Continue reading