Why I Refused to Celebrate Mother’s Day

Why I Refused To Celebrate Mother's Day - Anchor Of Promise

 

It’s Mother’s Day! Flowers, candy, and a day off from cleaning and cooking. That is what many moms wish for. These are some of the things that a mother enjoys while the day is celebrated.  Some families go all out.  They give lavish retreats away from home, a day at the spa, or give praise through cards, phone calls, and social media to express their love for “Mom”.  

However, being a “mom” of a teen in crisis brings about a very different kind of Mother’s Day.  You see, teens who are hurting and struggling have moms who put themselves last on the list of receiving care.  We also don’t always experience the benefits or rewards of adulation along with hugs and words of love and thankfulness.

Some moms instead, worry about their teen who hadn’t come home the night before.  Some moms are faced with a teen who is drug addicted or self-harming.  Some moms must visit their teen in juvie for Mother’s Day or at the hospital because their teen had a mental breakdown.  Some moms wonder if they can handle being in their child’s life because their teen has left them hopeless, frustrated, angry, and tired from all that they have been through.

Years ago, I made a big deal out of Mother’s Day which got ruined many times because of my teen in crisis.  So I refused to celebrate it.  But as time went on, I became thankful.  Thankful that I survived another year as a mom of a teen in crisis.

As each Mother’s Day passed, my faith in God became stronger as I relied on Him to get me to the following year. This grew and sustained my hope during the difficult times.  It also helped me deal with my expectations in a more positive way.  Instead of waiting to see what was going to ruin my day, I thanked God for all the little victories that were happening in my child’s life.  No matter how small or big.

One of the biggest changes for me as a mom was how much more I put that responsibility as a parent back towards God.  I knew in my heart that I couldn’t control every aspect, problem, issue or circumstance with each crisis, but I did know who could.  That took off a lot of burdens I was carrying as a parent, especially as a mom.

Being a parent, we put so much pressure on ourselves to be the best mom and when our teen fails us or the community in general, it comes back on us.  No longer stuck in this pattern, I give my problems to God in prayer. I know He will work them all out in His own way through His wisdom and not mine.  After all, He created my child from the very beginning.  He knows my teen better than I ever could.

So dear mom, as you get through this Mother’s Day, good or bad, remind yourself that it isn’t forever.  Your teen really does love you and one day they will thank you for not giving up on them.

From one mom to another who understands, may your Mother’s Day be filled with God’s love, hugging you with hope, peace, strength, and the knowledge that the Lord knows your heart this day.  Let Him guide you through the day and the year and allow Him to carry the hurts, disappointments, and the sorrow you may come upon.  As you rely on Him, He will give you joy that passes all understanding and a lightness within you as you daily go before the Lord in prayer.  

HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY!

Children, Suicide, and Gun Control

Children, Suicide, and Gun Control - Anchor of Promise
Ian was preparing for school when a behavioral issue popped up and was sent to his room. His emotional capacity was not able to decipher or understand the consequences of what he was about to do next.

Ian took his life at the age of ten. His mother would have never contemplated this chain of events. No parent suspects their child to take their life. Continue reading

From Suicide to a Life of Pain

From Suicide to a Life of Pain - Anchor Of Promise

When my daughter was nine, she would play on a game called Fantage.  It was a cute cartoon game that encouraged fun, imagination, and pretend.  They of course had parental controls in which you could oversee your child’s time on the game as well as how much contact they could have with others.

They were good at making sure curse words or any sexual innuendo did not take place.  But kids as they are today, find ways to get around that despite how child-like this game is.  With little chat bubbles, friends would follow each other around Fantage, playing games, meeting up with new pals, and buying the latest craze at the store with their ecoins.

One day however, a so-called new friend started to meet my daughter in the Fantage cartoon world and requested she go on another chat game without my knowledge.  This new chat place had a video chat in which you could see a live person.  That day changed my daughter’s life forever.  Continue reading

The 4 Negative Parenting Responses with a Teen in Crisis – Are You One of These?

The 4 Negative Parenting Responses with a Teen in Crisis - Are You One of These? Anchor Of Promise
I have met a lot of parents with teens in crisis throughout the years and among them I found four common responses.

When a situation arises and your teen is in crisis, which one of these negative parenting styles are you implementing into your life?

The Denial Parent – Although you love your teen, you think that what they are doing is just a rebellious stage in their life in which they will finally outgrow it and get their life together with time. When you do see the outright dangers and concerns, you hope that it will quickly die down and be fixed on its own by the next day. If someone confronts the situation head on, you retreat and let them know that you are working on it but it is never addressed in the long run. When you cannot deny it any longer, you find many excuses as to why you couldn’t help in the first place. Continue reading

The Growing Trend and Concern of Teen Girls in Relationships with Men

 

Theh Growing Trend and Concern of Teen Girls in Relationships with Men - Anchor Of Promise
In the past several years I have noticed a shift with young girls and relationships. The common plot scene in movies are groups of pre-teen girls swooning and giggling as well as staring at the “forbidden to like” high school senior who happens to walk by them giving them his smile. Not anymore.

Today, those same girls are not just being swooned and staring, but are starting to connect with older boys and men into their adulthood for that so called love relationship.

I have met and talked to quite a few girls ranging from ages 12 to 22 years-old who have dated or are secretly in a relationship with men that have an age difference spanning from 9-26 years of age.  I asked them if they could explain to me their reasons as to why they would be in a relationship with such a big age gap. Continue reading