I used to hate Mother’s Day. Did you hear that? “Used” to! I would see all of the mother’s surrounded by their smiling and laughing children of all ages giving honor to their mom. These children would present signs, crafts, give gifts, and bestow beautiful words of love and respect onto their mother.
Me? Nada! I dreaded this once a year holiday. Why? Because there were crises left and right, ongoing drama, heartless thanks, and a plethora of other problems toppled on each other. Instead of feeling I just came out of a word entrenched spa enjoying the accolades of praise for being the best mom, I was instead left in tears, guilt, shame, hurt, and pain for being a mom to a teen with serious issues.
I envied other moms. I was jealous of how they spent time with their families enveloped by so much love it would burst like the Fourth of July fireworks. Unlike that moment, I stayed in bed with the covers over my head wishing I could start life over. Did I say I hated Mother’s Day? Continue reading
This past week we received a wonderful blessing. The birth of our grandson. With his birth, came a healing for our daughter in ways that she had not felt before. A healing of restoration, a new life, of saying goodbye to the past.
Today, we celebrate another beautiful blessing. The beginning birth of Christ, who walked on earth as man, and sent to death for us and our child’s iniquities. However, the story does not finish there. He also rose again in full glory, giving freedom from sin, healing for broken hearts, and an eternal home that gives peace, joy, and a future.
Without Jesus’ life, death, and resurrection, we would have no hope for our children. Today, I am extra thankful for the cross and what Christ did not just for me, but for my children too.
May you be reminded of God’s love for you this Easter!
Photo by Hugues de BUYER-MIMEURE on Unsplash
In the past several months I have had to purge through life’s memories, pack tons of treasure troves, and prepare for a life change – moving from a large home to a small apartment. Never had I realized the years of accumulation we had collected. For my husband, it was sixty years worth passed down from the generations before him. For me, collectibles and books were my passion through time.
This season of change was not only overwhelming but exhausting in every way possible. As parents of a struggling young adult now, challenges are still very fresh and new. Many of us see our kids grow up with crises and believe they will outgrow those moments of brokenness as they age. That is not always the case.
I think of the parents whose children are still involved or addicted to drugs and alcohol. Then there are the parents who have older teens and young adults chained by their eating disorders or sexual identity and porn issues. What about the parents who find themselves back at square one with their child who has a mental illness or struggle with suicidal tendencies? Continue reading
When we think of “parents with a teen in crisis” we immediately come to the conclusion that mom and dad are involved. However, there are also thousands of single moms and dads who struggle as parents too. One such parent is my friend Lynn. I asked her to share with me some of the difficulties she has endured as a single parent with a teen in crisis. We pray that you will find encouragement through Lynn’s story and that you are not alone in your single parenting journey.
Were you a stay at home mom or working mom when you noticed your daughter’s issues? I am a working mom who works from home and also cared for my mother who had health issues. Both of my daughters now are ages 21 and 23.
Each parent with a child in crisis has a story. Can you give me a little background of how you became aware that your children were dealing with a serious issue? While my oldest has had anger and insecurity issues due to a divorce, it is my youngest that has been most concerning. In her senior year of high school her grades began to drop, she spoke of hating school and had friendships end. I later came to find out that she was sexually assaulted by a football player who trapped her in his car. She told no one. To cope, she began experimenting with drugs. She chose to attend a city college (which was a good move) but in her second year, I began to see her breakdown emotionally little by little. At the end of the year, she broke up with her boyfriend of 2 years, told me she was bi-sexual and began living a wild lifestyle. She went skydiving, had her septum pierced, began losing weight rapidly, out at very late hours of the night, and clearly came home wasted. My daughters and I are very close, are able to have transparent conversation and purpose time together. So, not only was I trying to deal with her behavior, she shut me out of her life; I was a roommate of insignificance. When school started again in the fall, she was having difficulty focusing, and tried working two jobs. In January, she confessed she felt there was something mentally wrong with her as she began pulling out her hair and cutting herself. She agreed to go into counseling which lead to a psychiatric diagnosis of bi-polar. She is on medication and continues seeing her counselor which is helping her work through some core issues. Continue reading
As I was decorating for the fall, I was reminded of the countless times in the past I was consumed by the many crises of my teen. Those crises preoccupied my life to the point that finding joy in a new season or celebrating a holiday became non-existent.
Having a teen or young adult in crisis dominates your life physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. You find yourself not living your life anymore but that of your child. Everything is about them. Literally!
I had no time to clean my house. I had no availability to see friends. I craved to be alone and couldn’t. I spent all my time going to a counselor and doctor appts., searching the web or reading for answers to serious issues. I was too tired to think about cooking or to eat a regular meal. My wash was piled up and dishes constantly left in the sink.
When I went to work, my mind was consumed even more because I wasn’t home to see what was going on. When I went to church, I wanted to hide from others so that I wasn’t twenty-questioned about our family. As time went on, it got to a period to which I wanted to run away or worse yet, end my life. Obviously I didn’t since I am writing this post. Continue reading