In my years as a parent of teens, I have met many wonderful parents along the way who truly love their children. However, I have also met loving parents who based their parenting style on fear of the outside world or what they perceive as bad, having chosen instead to shelter their children.
As loving as that may seem, unfortunately the end results of that over-protection have caused disastrous results. I don’t believe I have ever met one family in my lifetime that overprotected their children and had a healthy family dynamic in the end.
Is it normal that teens rebel? Yes, it is. Should it be expected that they may rebel? Yes, it should be.
But we should really ask, “Does our parenting sometimes exert such a pressure to shelter and push our teens into a direction that would ultimately cause bad behavior?” I can assuredly say, “Yes.”
To give some examples of this type of parenting, let us focus on these scenarios.
Scenario 1 – Dad pushes his son in athletics because anything outside of that will make his son weak and worthless. He makes him watch, play, think and sleep on athletics. Dad pushes all other distractions out of his son’s way. So he shelters him into a total athletic bubble by keeping away friends, fun, other activities and even any growth to his son’s identity that he is trying to figure out.
Scenario 2 – Mom keeps daughter safe and sheltered from the world by keeping teen with mom at all times, even to the point of keeping tabs of where she goes or what she does. The daughter dresses to what mom wants, eats to what mom says is healthy only, picks out daughter’s friends that she feels are deemed to mom’s approval and absolutely no thoughts on boys and make-up. Continue reading