Today, many parents rather be prideful, choose denial or keep secrets than consider first the welfare of their teens. I’m not talking about those who would normally feel embarrassed or feel shame about their family’s situation or too scared to talk about it. But I am talking about those who had been offered help from different sources and yet refuse to obtain and listen to that help.
Most notably, by looking at the case of the Sandy Cove shooter whose own mother “chose” not to confront the issues at hand, but instead accommodated those issues. And because of how it was handled, years later the most horrific shooting occurred. This is not just my opinion but by reports of those who are in the medical/psychological field along with documentation from many witnesses that were close to the family.
What I have been hearing and seeing lately is how many parents have similar stories (maybe not as severe) and are following the same footsteps as that mother who in the end paid the final penalty when the son shot her to death. There were no winners in that situation, only losses, too many losses.
Several years ago, I met a family who has a son. They were the parents of many children, but this one particular child was the youngest and also the most rebellious and hurting. After having some get-togethers and a lot of observations, a discussion came up in which I was able to voice some of my concerns that were very valid. Continue reading
She had a huge crush on the boy. She was only 9 but he was much older. A mere 14 years of age but old enough to know what he was doing. Picking up on the fact that she didn’t feel good about herself, he honed in on her crush and took advantage of it.
Opportunities presented themselves in which on-line chats were formed. He told her how pretty she was and that no one would love her the way he did. He said all the right words for her to hear. Feeling so unworthy at such a young age, she soaked up the praises being bestowed upon her and was willing to do anything in return for his devotion.
Then it happened. This day she could do something for him. This was not how she wanted to make him happy, but she felt obligated because he was so kind to her.
“I want you to take off your shirt,” he said. She balked at the idea because it felt so wrong to her. But then, she had changed her mind. Why? “If you don’t do this, I will kill you and your family. I have done a lot for you. I’m your master now. You have no one but me because I know the real you. So do what I say,” he threatened. Continue reading
Playing favorites and calling your child disrespectful names is no laughing matter. Preparing his future as if he will be worthless and only problematic is something no parent should be joking about either. Unfortunately, it is to a famous reality TV mother (Brandi Gandville) who publicly bashed her son who is only 7.
In a nutshell , what this parent is doing is called psychological and emotional abuse. This young boy who is still learning about who he is will never have a chance of strong self-esteem and unconditional love if his parent continues to belittle and tear him down.
Parents, we need to be careful in the words we use and choose, whether it is publicly or privately towards our children. It is actions such as this that start the path of a teen in crisis. Young boys look to their mothers as a comfort, and caretaker, with compassion, gentleness, and love. As a young boy ages, he views young girls and seeks a future wife to someone that parallels those same qualities in his own mother. Continue reading
The airbrush machine was running and the pigments filled in the cup. Slowly and methodically, the gun of the airbrush went up and down her arm showing the new skin color she so desperately wanted.
When she finished with disappointment again over her latest experiment, she went back to the cyber world and researched her next idea rolling around in her mind – How to bleach your skin.
Many nights I would hear her cry in her room. In her desperation and keeping secret from me, she would cut her arms to see if there was another color under her skin. Continue reading