What I have learned in raising teens is that pain often brings something beautiful to the surface. The pain itself can be ugly. It can last for a long time. It can bring much suffering and torment. But when they have reached the other side, there is a release and freedom that is wonderful and extraordinary. The weight of it all has left. They can now soar to a new place in life.
Did you know that a caterpillar eats itself while in the cocoon? It will release enzymes to dissolve all of its tissues until all that is left are the cells to make imaginal discs that produce the new body parts. There are even some caterpillar species that carry little tiny rudimentary wings inside of its body. But after a time, all those imaginal discs change the stage of the caterpillar from something old that must die to something new and life changing to begin.
That is how it is with our teens. Our vision of their pain, hurt, and even struggle to survive is something very difficult to watch. We want to rush this process because as parents, we love them and don’t want to see them go through this distress. However, there are times in which we need to allow them to get through this struggle on their own while we carefully and closely observe so that they can learn how to survive and cope for their later years. Continue reading
Walking down the corridors of the mall on a Friday night felt more like skipping a few seasons and landing on Halloween.
All around me were teens dressed in Scene, Punk, Emo and Goth. Now most parents know what Punk and Goth are, but very few understand the world of Scene and Emo.
Years ago, my daughter was traveling through the self-identity maze in which she conjured up all types of styles and looks that definitely sent me to the cyber world typing in HELP! Teens with an Identity Crisis – STAT! All I knew was that there was a fast metamorphosis taking place in front of me and I needed to take action.
However, my daughter was able to keep me up to speed and explain quite a bit about why our teens were turning to these emotional based lifestyles and wardrobes, including herself.
Did you know that the average age for a child to view porn for the first time is age 11? We use to believe it was only targeted for the male adults. Not anymore.
Some teens accidentally get exposed to it. For example, when I got my daughter her first phone which was an android phone, I was shocked to find how many porn apps the phone provider adds onto the phone. Yes, they give you kids games, reading options, internet use, cool tools and more, but you never expect to actually see a visual app that has half-naked couples fondling each other or a half-dressed woman in a sexual pose right there for your teen to click on. I tried to get rid of them so that she wouldn’t be exposed to them but some were too difficult to disable. Continue reading
Oh those dreaded words. Why on earth did I encourage my teens by telling them how mature they have gotten? What was I thinking? Oh yes, we as parents want to encourage our teens and letting them know how they have grown and matured, however, those words will backfire on you one day.
Teens today use your own words right back at you and this is one of them. Don’t get me wrong. I love to encourage my girls and see them exceed in ways that will build their character and self-esteem. I believe every parent has that desire to see their teen excel and be on their own more. Continue reading